Monday, April 29, 2013

My Emotions & Symptoms!

Sorry I haven't blogged in a few days! I've been so busy with softball games, my brother and his family in town and exhaustion! Seems every time I sit down to blog I pass out! :)

As for symptoms this last week, I've been kinda off.  I really don't have too many pregnancy symptoms. I hadn't had any morning sickness and no tender breasts. I do think my appetite is subsiding too. All I want for breakfast lunch and dinner is cereal! I have made some of my favorite dinners but then I won't eat it.  I know that I have to force myself to eat fruits, veggies & meat but they just don't sound appealing right now. I am however craving ice chips and I am constantly drinking tons of water. As for my emotions... They've been all over the place! Today I was looking for a shirt of mine and noticed it was missing so I asked my 15 year old if she borrowed it, she said she hadn't. So I searched and searched with no luck! I was practically in tears in my closet? Really? Over a stinken shirt? Wow, I literally had to tell myself to snap out of it! Also, as I was driving a couple of days ago I noticed two elderly people walking hand & hand, the man stopped and swooped his lovely wife's hair from her face and smiled this oh so precious grin and I lost it! I was sobbing! The hard part of this is that I am already an emotional person! :)

Well, Yesterday.... It hit me like a ton of bricks! I woke up with an uneasy stomach. The second I stood up I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and there it went!! I continued to throw up an additional 5x in the next couple of hours. I literally had to force myself to eat something light and as long as I continued to have something in my stomach I was okay! I also forced myself to go to sleep at noon in the hopes that I would feel much better, which it did help immensely. We had a BBQ at my parents house last night and I ate really good, thank goodness!

We were recently scheduled to have our ultrasound on Friday the 3rd but were able to get into my OB this Thursday the 2nd at 10:30! I'm really excited and nervous. There goes all these crazy emotions again! B & C will be able to travel down here to be here for the ultrasound! I am so excited!! I pray that we see some little heart beats!! :)

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Shout out to my girl Alisha!

Okay so since we are in the 2ww again for the ultrasound and I have no real exciting news to share. I will just give a shout out to my girl Alisha! She is having 2 beautiful frozen embryos transferred to her beautiful fluffy uterus this afternoon!!! I am so happy, excited & anxious for her! I love you girl! I am praying (wish I could Fast, but the Lord knows I can't go an hour without eating right now!) so hard for you & your hubby! Stick little "H" babies!! We all know Mama needs some rapid weight gain, crazy cravings, sleepless nights & stretch marks!! LOL Oh, and let me throw in how much she's enjoying those "Painless" Progesterone Shots!! J/k Alisha! :) I just want you to know that I have been so grateful for you to be by my side through this Journey. I love that I have someone to talk to that is also going through the meds, pain, excitement & emotions! I know that my journey is totally different from yours, seeing as you are going through this journey to receive your own "Miracle". But I love that we can help each other out! From the very first day I met you (5 years back) and we spoke about Surrogacy and about our families I knew you would always be that dear friend that had that special place in my heart! I want nothing more but for to receive the amazing news we have received! I want you to experience a full heart as I have! You have gone through so many hardships going down this road... I want this to be the best outcome possible!

I love you girly! Lots of prayers heading your way!!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

B & C & Little K's Visit

We were so lucky to have such spectacular news this week that B & C and their little K decided to drive 4 hours to have dinner with Nick & I on Saturday evening! They made reservations at a place called Xeteva Gardens. Okay I have lived here for awhile and I have never heard of this place. A small little place right out of Kayenta in Ivins, Utah. The scenery was beautiful! The restaurant was really small but quaint. The service was great. The food options were pretty unique and really good! The spicy hummus was amazing! Thinking back now... I should have ordered the spicy hummus as my meal! Yumm! There I go with spicy foods again!  And the appetizers for a meal, Nick absolutely hates that whenever we go out I tend to have a trio appetizer! What can I say, I'm a pretty indecisive person! I like a little of everything. :) We had such great conversation! We talked practically about everything! How I was feeling? How they were feeling? How are families were supporting us in this Journey, etc.

Then there is little K... :) Ohh, she makes my heart melt! She is such a smart little girl, very beautiful and has this little spirit about her! She drew me 2 pics I have now hung on my fridge! Every time I see B & C with that little sweetheart I am just reminded of how amazingly loving, caring, compassionate, strong and patient they are. Such great parents, people, friends. :) When I think of this beautiful experience brought into my life, I am reminded of all their great qualities and what they have to offer this/these baby/babies!

After dinner we invited them to come and see our home & visit our kids! We called the kids on the way home and they were so excited! They keep asking about them and about Little K! She fit right in with my girls! They showed her their (messy) playroom and they immediately started playing as if they've known each other for years! I want to thank B & C for driving out all this way! I wish we lived closer so we could do this more often! We love you guys!

**As for the symptoms, hmmm... No sickness, No nausea, No sore breasts (just heavy), increase of appetite for sure, ridiculous amount of potty breaks.. Seriously woke up 3x last night with a full bladder! But most of all exhaustion! Oh, boy am I tired, the second I stop moving/sit down I'm out! Ask the primary kids at church today! Yep, me.. I fell asleep at church today during singing & sharing time! The kids thought it was pretty darn funny! Other then that I am feeling really good!

Friday, April 19, 2013

More Beta's & More Updates!

Today started off just as Tuesday did, busy busy! :) I needed to head back to IHC for our second Beta Test, but the Order that the nurse emailed to me yesterday was locked & I was unable to open it last night as well as this morning? I tried, Nick tried, I tried again... I decided to call Jenalee (UCRM Nurse) and explained this and she kindly changed the file so I was able to print off the order! I rushed out the door to IHC, it was completely dead in there! They took me straight back and got my sample sent off quickly.

I do have to share that the nurse there (Susan) was so neat! She had this amazing spirit about her, very kind, very gentle. We sat there for over 30 mins just talking! I love meeting new people that impact your life. I will never forget her kindness! She promised me that she would love to share the Beta #'s with me if we hadn't heard from the Dr.'s office by 4. Thanks so much Susan!

Today's Beta #'s! 14dp/6dt (14 days past/6 day transfer) 827! Woohoo! That's more then double! :) *HAPPY DANCE* C was actually the one to call me with the amazing news! We all just feel amazing! So Blessed! I was nervous, I'm not going to lie! Not cause I had anything leaning towards bad news but just cause I'm such a worry worm!

Now we wait.. We need to schedule an ultrasound for May 3rd! Only 2 weeks, we just had a 2ww... We can do another one! :) I'm so glad because B & C will be here for the ultrasound! I pray that everything looks perfect, heart beat/s and all!

They gave us a due date of December 20th! Yippee, Christmas Baby! What a blessing, a miracle, such a special gift to receive right before Christmas! :) Looks like Santa's shopping online this year! Ha Ha I had my 2nd daughter born in December and that was pretty difficult, and that was with half the kids I have now! o_o  This means we will be 5 weeks tomorrow!

As for the side effects.. Well it's official. I don't believe I'm bloated, I believe my bloat has turned into chunk! :( I never thought the meds would have this kind of affect on me? They did put me on Birth Control way back in October so I think in the 5 months I was on them I gained 7 lbs! Sadly I'm carrying this all in my waste so I already look way pregnant! Even my kids are saying, "Wow Mom the baby/babies are growing so fast!" I just laughed ridiculously because I also just read minutes before this that the baby is the size of a poppy seed!! Oh, Dear! Also, I have noticed a lot of exhaustion! As well as the increase in appetite, not too bad, mostly for spicy foods, anything spicy! Also, I am usually a snacker, but seem to want to eat full meals every time I eat. Really staying hydrated, I can't seem to drink enough water! Other then the usual pain on my back side from the PIO, we are doing pretty good!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

A Rough Day...

Well, let me start off by saying I am so grateful for everyone who reads my blog. I am not the best writer but I do appreciate everyone returning to continue to read and support us!

So, yesterday I was able to get a hold of one of the nurses at UCRM by 8:02! I asked if it would be possible to take my Order to the IHC down the street from me, seeing as they opened at 8 am! She said definitely. This made me extremely happy, then I realized my day hadn't even started! It started off busy, as usual, getting ready, waking kids up, driving some to school, helping others get dressed, brushing hair, making breakfast.. Wooo, by the time the last kid was out the door it was 9 am! So much for an early Beta test! :) I finally make it out the door and get to IHC a little after 9, my name gets called and blood drawn pretty quickly by 9:30. I am so anxious the whole time, praying so deeply that I totally spaced asking the clinic how long it would take to receive my results, until my blood had already been drawn and I was walking out the door! The young gentleman at the counter says, "Well, this kind of test usually takes, hmm, about a day! So you'll hear back tomorrow!" Say what??!! My face looked like this O_O... He then replies, "Try calling this evening, maybe they'll be ready." I could not believe how excited & nervous & anxious I was when I got there, then I left sad & depressed.. Wait you mean.. We won't find out in a couple hrs, by lunch? C & B & I cannot wait any longer! I sadly text C & told her the news. She is so kindly replied, "Thanks for letting me know! Lets keep hanging in there! I think I can do it!" She is always so positive, honestly calmed & relaxed me quite a bit!

So, I decided to take advantage of my Mom's day off! We went shopping! Always makes me feel better and it did keep my mind preoccupied, somewhat... I caught myself every 30 seconds checking my phone, my ringer, I wouldn't even allow my phone to enter my purse! No sirreee! It was staying in my pocket, blasting ringer, vibrator and all! But sadly no call... Until 2:30, it was C. :( I could hear it in her voice, her quiet voice, so soft, so sad.. It broke me.. Was this it? Could I possibly be reading what she was thinking? What she was about to say? Bad news? Not pregnant? No HCG? She says, "Have you heard anything yet?" Grateful, thinking... Wait... Has she not heard yet either?? Maybe there's still hope! I honestly thought C was calling me to tell me bad news, but she was just so sad that it was 5 1/2 hrs with no results yet.. Even though we were told 1 day, we thought maybe that was just protocol? Hearing C so depressed and knowing that B had been calling her all morning to find out results, I blurted out, "Gail said to take a pregnancy test! Just to keep us from any more suspense!" C says, "She did!?" :) I said, I bought one already! Just waiting for the go ahead! LOL I told her it was her call! She agreed! :) Unfortunately, I had barely arrived at Target w/ my Mom, who not only works for Target & knows every isle, every item, every sale, etc. But still continues to go down every isle, even if she isn't looking for a particular item! I'm sorry Mom but it was dreadful! Especially knowing that I had this little test calling my name, the suspense! The butterflies, the excitement, the tears!

I finally arrived at home at 4.. pondered taking the test, prayed (again, for like the gazillionth time), occupied my zoo :) so they didn't interrupt me! Grabbed the test, noticed I bought a 2 pack, a regular FRER (First Response Early Response) as well as a digital. I just have to throw in that I had barely relieved myself an hr or so before so it took a little bit, maybe it was my nerves. My knees and hands were both shaking! Finally after sitting there for 3 mins, I pee'd! I decided to use both, just to be accurate! I quickly left both test in the restroom and text C! "How are you feeling? I just took the test.. But I'm scared to look." She replies, "I feel calm now for some reason ;-)" After only 1 minute, literally! I entered the restroom, knees still shaking, heart racing, clammy hands.... This is what I text C.

A Rough Day, turns into a Miracle!

THEY ARE PREGNANT!! Crying uncontrollably, wanting to call C, wishing she was here with me to hold, to congratulate her, I received this from her.

I finally pulled myself together, ran to the softball fields for my girls games and composed myself enough to call C. I could tell she was grinning ear to ear! As well as I was! I returned home and thought I should at least try and call IHC to see if they received anything and had sent anything off to UCRM. It must have been our day because I had the cutest receptionist answer and tell me Yes, they had received the results, but she couldn't tell me what my Beta's were. :( She said, "But I could tell you that you are For Sure Pregnant! You are at least 2-3 wks along!" She replied with excitement! I then said, "So UCRM has received the results and they will tell me?" She says, "Yes, they received them at 11:42 am! But that doesn't mean they got them, just that they were faxed to that number at that time." What??? Really??? :( The cute little loving receptionists whispers, "351!" I said, "What??" She said "your Beta is 351! Have an amazing night!" :) I instantly called C and we were again speechless!

So, now we go in for more labs tomorrow morning! Praying & Hoping for double Beta #'s!!! And I am going to call IHC 2 hrs after Test to see if they faxed them! :) Thanks to everyone who has supported us this far! Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read our blog!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Tomorrow, come already!!

**First off! Wow! I cannot believe this blog has received so many views! Over 1,040 in only 6 weeks! Thanks Everyone!**

Okay, so honestly I don't even wanna go to sleep! I want to stay up and drive all the way to the Lab that opens at 6 am!! LOL! I spoke to C today and we were trying to make sure that the Order actually "did" get faxed to the Lab. My fear is I'll get to the lab and they will tell me they don't have an order and it will just prolong the wait for us.. No sirree!! :) Seeing how organized we both are we figured to call the lab and guess what? No order! Thank goodness it was early enough that Gail & Jenalee were still in the office! They are amazing! They were able to re-fax the orders as well as email me a copy! My only complaint is the hospital they sent them to doesn't open until 9 am. :( I am so excited, nervous, scared, overwhelmed... Okay mostly impatient! I really would love to go to the lab down the street from me, which is also an IHC, that also opens at 7am!! My only dilemma is UCRM doesn't open until 8 am. So, I'm not sure if I can just take the emailed order to another lab?? Aghhh!

I wish we knew how long the results will take as well. I've read (depending on the lab) anywhere from 3-4 hrs. IHC labs will call UCRM with the results first & then UCRM will contact C! Just writing this is making my heart race as well as giving me butterflies!

I just want everyone who stops by to read my blog... That no matter what happens in the next 24 hrs, I really appreciate all of your support. Thank you for listening to my whines, my tears, my heart, OUR Journey. I want everyone who is struggling with infertility to know that I have learned so much from this journey.. My heart aches for you. I pray that you will soon be able to cherish that sweet little one in your life very soon! I will never take my 6 blessings Heavenly Father has sent me for granted.

Heavenly Father please watch over all of us...

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Update & More Symptoms!

I've been wanting to post since Thursday but had such a rough day! I was so overwhelmed & had so much anxiety... I was in tears for most of the day, I hate days like that! I blame it all on the Progesterone!  LOL I think the 2 week wait just got the better of me. I text C on Thursday and she said she'd been experiencing the same thing, I bet! I'm sure her and B have been extremely overwhelmed and have been on pins & needles! I've been praying for you B & C! :)

So, today we are 9dp/6dt!! I cannot believe we've made it this far! It's actually still moving quickly! Thank Goodness!! It does help that I have 5 of my 6 kids playing baseball or softball, so all week long we've been at games or practices. As of today we have 3 more days until we find out the results (I'd like to think Miracle) of what we've all been working so hard for... I spoke to C today and she thinks the time has moved quickly as well! But we both know Monday is going to drag & drag! Lets hope not C!

As for my bottom.... Yikes! I am starting to feel the pain everyone else has described! Although, I'm still tolerating the pain of the shot, which is not too bad, it's the after math! OUCH! My whole back side feels abused! I'm honestly surprised that I am not black and blue back there? It's even tender to the touch some days. The good news is I was able to get rid of that knot I had back there and there are no new ones! :)

Here are my day to day symptoms. Starting from transfer day until today!

(Day 11-Monday)
Symptoms: So thirsty, exhausted, bloated :(, frequent urination, hungry, another craving for something spicy! :), fuller breasts (not gonna lie, kinda enjoy this one, honestly the only perk of Progesterone!)

(Day 10-Sunday)

Symptoms: Exhausted, thirsty, freezing, fuller breasts, still some bloating

(Day 9-Saturday)
Symptoms: Slept amazing!, thirsty, craving spicy food?, hungry, sleepy, frequent urination, freezing, headache, fuller breasts

(Day 8-Friday)
Symptoms: Headache, hard time sleeping, thirsty, freezing, frequent urination, sleepy, fuller breasts :)

(Day 7-Thursday)
Symptoms: Headache, VERY emotional, hard time sleeping, fuller breasts :), freezing

(Day 6-Wednesday)
Symptoms: Persistent Headache, thirsty, emotional, bloating (less), freezing

(Day 5-Tuesday)
Symptoms: More cramping, More Bloating, Leg Cramps, Sensitive, Thirsty, Lots of potty breaks, Constipation :(, Really hungry, Sharp pains up my Cha-chi :|

(Day 4-Monday)
Symptoms: Back ache, MAJOR Cramping, Leg Cramping, Thirsty, frequent urination, Headache, & would you know Bloating! :)

(Day 3-Sunday)
Symptoms: Back ache, Emotional, Thirsty, frequent urination, and more bloating!

(Day 2-Saturday)
Symptoms: Sleepy, bloating, Very Thirsty, "SO" sleepy-not a lot of potty breaks! :)

(Day 1-Friday)
Symptoms: Headache, Thirsty, frequent urination, bloating

Transfer Day (Thursday)
Symptoms: Headache, minor tummy ache, frequent urination, bloating

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

~B&C's Story~

**C emailed me this beautiful letter for all of you to get to know them a little better.  As I read their story over again I am sitting her balling my eyes out. They mean so much to me. I want this so bad for them. My prayers, my strength, my beliefs, my life have never felt more love or compassion then in these last few months.  We love you B & C!**

Brandon and I met at our Church’s singles ward. We were both in our thirties and have never been married. We both spent a lot of years going to school and working. We felt so blessed to have met each other and immediately felt a deep connection. After about nine months of dating, we both felt very confident and excited to get married and start a family of our own.
After about a couple of years of unsuccessful attempts to start a family, we opted for seeking the help of fertility specialists and pursued an IVF treatment, which ended up in a successful pregnancy after the first attempt in 2009. Luckily, we also ended up with a couple of extra embryos that we froze with the purpose of implanting them in me a couple of years later. In June of 2010, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into this world! We love her very much and are so blessed to have her in our lives! 
In October of 2011 we returned to our fertility clinic to implant those frozen embryos and felt super excited to start an IVF cycle once again. Just a few days after having started the IVF cycle, I decided to go to my family doctor to have a small lump I felt on my left breast checked just for peace of mind. It did not occur to me that anything could go wrong. There was no way on this earth that it could be anything serious since I was feeling so strong and healthy. My doctor sent me to have a first mammogram followed by ultrasounds and biopsies that ended up in a breast cancer diagnosis in November of 2011. I remember so clearly the heart ache of such devastating news! There were so many thoughts going through my head, so many emotions, and fears that are almost indescribable.  I turned to Brandon and told him, I don't know what hurts more, having received the news that I have cancer or having to stop the IVF cycle.

The next twelve months were followed by innumerable appointments with doctors, surgeries, a series of chemotherapy and radiation treatments that I never thought I would ever experience. But at the same time, I can say that this was the most humbling, most en-lighting, most strengthening time of my life. It made me feel so close to my Heavenly Father and increased my faith in Him. It has taught me innumerable lessons that I know I never would have learned otherwise. For that reason, I would not change  a thing about it even if I could.

Now, a year and a half later, I feel very strong, healthy, and eternally grateful for my life, my family, and friends for the unconditional love and support they have given me through this difficult time. I am truly blessed and a believer of miracles! On the down side, this experience had left me physically incapable to carry a pregnancy again. 

What do we do now? That was the question that Brandon and I asked ourselves many times! We have these two live embryos. Literally, two little unborn human beings in their very first stages of life. Should we let them die now because I am not able to carry them myself? That just did not feel right to us! God knows how much we would love to feel the joy and happiness of bringing another life into this world once again! Brandon and I started researching quite a bit about the surrogacy process and to make s long story short, it just felt right to us! We felt strongly that we should give this a try before considering an adoption. 

As Brandon and I started taking the very first steps to start this process, a name and a face kept popping up into our minds, it was the wife of one of Brandon's friends and previous co-worker whom he has kept in touch throughout the years. I had the opportunity to meet her a few years ago and her sweetness and motherly demeanor had stayed in my mind. I was pregnant with my little K at the time. I remember so clearly her telling me how much she enjoyed each one of her pregnancies and how that was best time of her life. I never told her, but that thought stayed in my mind and made my own pregnancy even sweeter and more enjoyable through the next several months. A few weeks after Brandon and I had discussed how this particular person kept popping up in our minds, N, her husband, happened to call Brandon to discuss some work related issue. Brandon didn't waste any time and told N a little bit more about our lives and what we were planning on doing. To my surprise, he told Brandon that his wife had considered being a gestational carrier in the past. I couldn't believe that! Since then I just started to feel that things were starting to fall into place. 

I truly believe that our Heavenly Father has been preparing us for this! Well, through the next few days, and after several phone conversations with Alvina, prayers and inspiration, I received another answer from Heaven and from this remarkable woman on earth giving me opportunity to embark with us on this amazing "service project", as she put it. I never could have put it in better words! We love you Alvina! 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Symptoms Update!

I thought I'd update everyone on how I'm feeling. You may glance at this and think I'm a whiner, but honestly I just want to keep tabs on my symptoms for other Surrogates or Expectant Mothers to look over, so they know they are not alone! :) 

As of today we have only one more week before our Beta Blood Test... I honestly think it's moving quicker than anticipated.  I think I'm more nervous then anything. I don't want to have these days move any quicker if the outcome isn't what we've all been working so hard for and praying so heavily for...

(Day 5-Tuesday)
Symptoms: More cramping, More Bloating, Leg Cramps, Sensitive, Thirsty, Lots of potty breaks, Constipation :(, Really hungry, Sharp pains up my Cha-chi :|

(Day 4-Monday)
Symptoms: Back ache, MAJOR Cramping, Leg Cramping, Thirsty, frequent urination, Headache, & would you know Bloating! :)

(Day 3-Sunday)
Symptoms: Back ache, Emotional, Thirsty, frequent urination, and more bloating!

(Day 2-Saturday)
Symptoms: Sleepy, bloating, Very Thirsty, "SO" sleepy-not a lot of potty breaks! :)

(Day 1-Friday)
Symptoms: Headache, Thirsty, frequent urination, bloating

Transfer Day (Thursday)
Symptoms: Headache, minor tummy ache, frequent urination, bloating

Monday, April 8, 2013


2ww (2-week wait)

As you all know we had the amazing transfer on Thursday.  This puts us today at 4dp/6dt (4 days past/6 day transfer).  We headed home on Friday and I've pretty much just laid around since Friday evening, literally! :)  I've been catching up on some blogs I follow, watching chick flicks, reading, and sleeping. I actually am enjoying this a lot more than I anticipated I would! Nick has been great! Cooking, cleaning, carpooling, shopping, catering to me & playing with the kids. He even had all the kids doing yard work Saturday so we could keep the noise down to a minimum in the house while I napped.  I love you Nick!

I haven't noticed any real symptoms as of yet?  A tiny little cramping, but not consistent. But I read online that it could also be from the constant laying around as well as just sitting around in bed?? It's actually more like pelvic pressure, braxton hicks kind of feeling, kinda strange.  I am thirsty all the time though, can't seem to drink enough ice water!  Wow, and so many potty breaks! This could be from all the water drinking though!  Also, so bloated!  Yikes, I probably already look pregnant. :) It's so strange, I knew the meds were making me feel bloated, but since the day after the transfer it has seemed to double?  Anyone ever experience this?  I hope so or I'm retaining a lot of stinken water! LOL  I won't go into how much weight I've gained because I believe every ounce & every pound I've put on is worth every bit of this journey! I also began to get totally emotional today, more than usual!  Nick left for SLC yesterday and as he kissed me goodbye I balled like a baby!  Maybe because we've spent everyday this week together, just him & I?  That could be it right?  I miss him already. :(

I've been asked by my closest friends if B & C want a HPT done before the blood work on the 16th. We actually never brought this subject up? I honestly would feel better having the blood work done first, just for confirmation and also I've heard people getting false negatives or false positives from their meds they are on? How are we going to make it 8 more days?? Agh! I know it will go quickly, we can only Hope! What if the results aren't what we have been hoping for? Please, Please give us some high Beta #'s... The perfect ending would be 2 healthy babies, but if Heavenly Father blesses B&C with one healthy baby I know they will be more than ecstatic!  They will love this/these baby/babies unconditionally. They deserved to give these 2 embryos (babies) a chance at life. They deserve a miracle. Heavenly Father, please watch over all of us in this time of need, we need your strength and your comfort.

As for the PIO Shots... I'm not very fond of them. LOL Last night was day 10 of my PIO shots, I am used to them now.  They don't really hurt, but unfortunately I do have this horrible knot on my left side, I've been heating and rubbing it all day but nothing seems to help.  I have to send some love out to my sweet 15 year old though!  Nick had to get on the road early yesterday so he was unable to give me my PIO shot.  I literally sat there for 5 minutes trying to inject myself, with no success. What can I say I chickened out!! I asked my daughter, actually jokingly, to come do it and she said OK! Alrighty then, lets do this! With no hesitation she grabbed the needle, almost as if she was going to stab me! YIKES! Hold up, wait a minute! I gently grabbed it and showed her, like a dart, be nice! Dang, she had the same look on her face her father had the very first night he gave me my shot! What the heck?! She expressed the same dorky grin he did! Why do they enjoy this so much?  I am actually getting some numbing sensation from all the PIO shots, kinda feels strange.

I was looking around and found this. It's actually pretty interesting! I don't know how this refers to us since we did a 6 day frozen transfer, it shouldn't be too off, but it is really neat to understand the day by day development.

5-Day Transfer

Days Past
Transfer (DPT)
Embryo Development
OneThe blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
TwoThe blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
ThreeThe blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
FourImplantation continues
FiveImplantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
SixHuman chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
SevenFetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
EightFetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
NineLevels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy 

For those doing a 3-day transfer I will add this one for you as well!

3-Day Transfer

Days Past
Transfer (DPT)
 Embryo Development
 OneThe embryo continues to grow and develop, turning from a 6-8 cell embryo into a morula
 TwoThe cells of the morula continue to divide, developing into a blastocyst
 ThreeThe blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell 
 FourThe blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
 FiveThe blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation 
 SixImplantation continues
 SevenImplantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop 
 EightHuman chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream 
 NineFetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted 
 TenFetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted  
 ElevenLevels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Precious Cargo!

Sorry I wanted to post the second I got back to the hotel but the Valium kicked in big time and had me climb in to bed the second I walked into the room.  I had a very nice & cozy nap, about 4 hrs!

Throughout the night last night I tossed and turned.  I couldn't sleep, I kept having these weird dreams!  First one I missed the appointment and came a day late!  Then I had a dream that they checked my lining and said I had no lining?  It was all so weird.

I finally got out of bed and showered, got ready, woke Nick up so he could get ready.  This cute B&B we are staying in delivered one of the healthiest amazing breakfasts to our door.  Unfortunately, I had so much anxiety and emotions I could barely pick at all the yummy food.  We got on the road and got to UCRM.  The second we parked I felt relief, comfort, that everything was going just the way it was supposed to, up to that point.

We finally found the office and as we walked in B&C were sitting there in the waiting room.  I quickly checked in with the receptionist, and ran to hug C!  I didn't want to let her go, we were both instantly crying.  We stood there in the waiting room and chatted for what seems like only 5 mins before they called my name!  She said 1 person could come back, which I knew it should be C (Nick & B are friends so I knew they could keep each other company).  But seeing how caring C is, she offered for Nick to come back as well! :)  The nurse agreed.  We were brought to the "Transfer Room" :), which I have to add is the same exact room C was in when they transferred her sweet K!  They had me go potty, drape the blanket over my lap and then invited Nick and C into the room.  I have to admit, this was one of my favorite moments of the day.  C & I just sat there and chatted forever!  I love her, she is so inspirational!  I wish we lived closer so we could visit with them more.  C gave me a gift in the waiting room but they called us back to quickly I was unable to open it, until we got into the "Transfer Room". I read this beautiful card, tried not to cry, but couldn't contain myself. They gave us a Olive Garden Gift Card, which is my favorite place to eat.  She also gave me this beautiful Necklace.

Which the second I read the beautiful message on it, I began to lose it!  I couldn't resist the urge to slip the necklace on right then and there!  They are just so thoughtful!

After containing myself Dr. Johnson came in and introduced herself to us.  We've been meeting/speaking with Dr. Peterson but unfortunately it is not his month for transfers.  We were all a little skeptical, but heard great things about Dr. Johnson.  She was amazing.  She invited B to come in so she could go over the embryos with all 4 of us.  She showed us the picture of 2- 6 day old embryo's and said, both embryos have survived! Wow, then she began to explain to us that one only had about a 15-20% of survival.  Which she then comforted us with saying that doesn't mean this embryo won't make it but there is a slimmer chance seeing as the cells aren't too clear.  But on the other hand the other embryo looked really good, the cells were lined up, etc.  Looking at the 2 it's amazing the difference in the two.  We are still hoping & praying both work but I know we will be grateful for one healthy baby as well.  Dr. Johnson then began explaining to us that there is also a chance the great embryo could still split, so there is still a chance for twins! :)

The top Embryo is the good Embryo, the bottom one, not so strong. But still Fighting!!
(6 day old embryos)
B had so many questions for Dr. Johnson, which I was so grateful for because in all reality I think we were all so overwhelmed with the process, it was good to have his voice heard.  Thanks B! :)  The Dr. gave me a Valium which unfortunately didn't kick in until the whole process was done, but I was still willing to follow the Dr.'s orders!  The second they had me put my legs in the stirrups, B was out! LOL  They used the ultrasound machine on my belly to see the uterus and Dr. Johnson began to prep me!  They were able to show us the embryos being sucked up in the straw, the tech then brings them to Dr. Johnson and she carefully inserted them.  You could immediately see how beautifully placed they were in there!  This is where, I pray, they will have a nice comfy home for the next 9 months!

After they were all done they had me lay somewhat upside down with a pillow propped under my bottom for 30 minutes.  C stayed there and talked to me the whole time!  I believe I tried to talk back but I'm sure I made no sense thanks to the drugs!  Sorry if I wasn't making sense C! :) Once the 30 mins was up they allowed me to get dressed (very carefully) and warned me that the fluid that my come out (sorry if TMI) was only the solution and would not be the embryos!  And then I had a chariot awaiting me at the door!  :)  The nurse wheeled me out in a wheelchair where Nick then pulled up the car and I continued to hug C & B.  We took a few picture with each other.  I'm not sure if I could post these pics yet, but will soon find out.

I do have to say how warming and inviting the staff at UCRM were.  Even every time I talk to them over the phone or any time I have another question they are always willing to answer very quickly.  The nurse's there today were all amazing, as well as so funny!  We had some good laughs!

On our way home, the Valium "really" hit!  I don't even remember what Nick was talking to me about??  All I remember is climbing into this comfy bed.  Honestly, I had to go potty the second I got here but was so worried the embies might fall out I held it for the 4 hrs I slept!  Yikes! LOL!  Honestly, I do not want to move!  I wish I could lay here all weekend, just being relaxed, so this precious cargo could just enjoy the quiet and get comfy! :)

Transfer Day (Day 1)
Symptoms: Headache, minor tummy ache, frequent urination


❤❤❤Wow! It's the BIG day! ❤❤❤

I don't even know where to start.. I'm so overwhelmed this morning. A lot of tears, smiles, and prayer.  Our appointment is set for 9:45, I feel like the morning cannot move any quicker! :)  I'm so grateful that Nick is here for support.  I couldn't do it without his love, approval & support! He is an amazing man, my best friend. I love you Nick!

I just want B & C to know that I love them and I'm so grateful for this opportunity in my life. You two are amazing parents and I can only hope for the best outcome in our journey, to be able to add to your little family! I have come to the realization that our journey is in our Saviors hands. And we will except any outcome. And we are so grateful for everything this far, the closeness that B &C now share with us, the unconditional love we have for them and even the knowledge I've been given through this journey.

Send lots of prayers and wish us all luck! ❤


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

A few updates!


Well someone let the cat out of the bag... Today as we were talking to our 15 year old daughter, Nick blurts out, "Yes, we are leaving on Wednesday so your Mom can get PREGNANT on Thursday morning!"  After he removed his big foot out of his mouth and picked his jaw off the ground, he saw that all 3 of our little girls were also in the room! They were all so excited and jumped around saying, "YES!  Mommy's having another baby!" (At this time only our oldest 2 teenage kids were in the know) We then had to sit all 4 of the younger kids down and explained the whole situation.  And would you believe it, they are all on board.  We had lots and lots of questions to answer, but we were so grateful we didn't have to be sneaky anymore!

1 more day!

I am so overwhelmed with emotion lately..  I seriously pondered on so many feelings and thoughts that I had racing through my mind.  I just catch myself praying over and over again.  I just need to relax and and have faith that our Heavenly Father has a plan.  Just knowing this puts my mind at ease. :)

We will be heading back to SLC this afternoon!  We went Monday afternoon to SLC for the Jazz game, headed back home yesterday to make our daughters softball game and to spend time with our kids.  We had a great night sleep in our own beds, sent the kids off to school and we'll get on the road really soon.  We are so excited!  I cannot believe that tomorrow is finally here!  I remember thinking this moment would never come.  I will try an update as much as I possibly can.  B & C have booked us a beautiful room at a Bed & Breakfast and I know that it is going to be so nice & peaceful for me to be able to relax and take it easy after the transfer.
I'm not exactly sure how much we will be sharing as of yet, but I promise I will post at least every other day.  I will give you updates on how the transfer went, my feelings, how I am feeling, etc.  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! :)

Okay, onto another subject!  I am a very superstitious person!  I really try and not to be but I am the kinda person who believes in "everything happens for a reason".  I tend to catch myself praying and to immediately see something that will put my mind at ease or make me feel comfort.  I have 2 things that have made me feel great lately during this journey!  But because I don't want to jinx anything I will hold off from sharing them and keep you all wondering!  :)  I will share later!

Progesterone Side Effects (5 days in)

Okay, so as of Monday, no real side effects except for the breast tenderness and bloating, actually a lot of bloating!  But last night!  Wow, I totally caught myself being moody for no apparent reason.  :(  Luckily, I noticed and fought the urge to rip heads off! LOL totally just playing! :) I honestly cannot believe that I've had 5 PIO shots, I am doing fabulous afterwards.  No soreness anymore either! It's almost unbelievable!

Well wish us luck!  Thanks for everyone who reads my blog.  I honestly just started it for me and to have a journal of this journey, I am so overwhelmed with the comments and love we are receiving!


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Beautiful Flowers!

I want to thank B & C for the beautiful Birthday Flowers!  They totally made my day!  I absolutely love them, thank you so much!  You two are much more than just the IM/IF, you are truly amazing friends!  We love you guys so much!  I will cherish these beauties for a long time!


Monday, April 1, 2013


Okay, so Friday was my first Progesterone Shot (PIO), and I have to be brutally honest.  This was probably one of the worse pains I've ever felt in my life!  From the very first time I laid my eyes on these needles, I knew we would not get along...  I anticipated this day from day one!  All day Friday I had it in the back of my head, thinking about it, the pain, the discomfort, etc.

 My poor Nick is such a trooper for being right there with me the whole time.  We couldn't do the shot in the morning because I hadn't heard from the nurse yet at UCRM, until after 11 am on Friday, which by this time Nick was at work and you are supposed to inject yourself everyday at the same exact time, so we waited until later in the evening.

I read to ice first then heat your bottom after, so this is what we did.

1st PIO shot = Decided to ice the area for about 2 mins, prepared the PIO into the needle and disinfected the area.  I decided to lay on the edge of my bed, tummy down.  I was so nervous and tense I just gripped onto my bedding and with a quick dart like motion, Nick with this goofy smile as if he was excited to give me this painful shot, injected slowly.  I could feel every bit of the Progesterone running through my bottom, I could barely get off my bed onto my feet.  Wiping my tears I toughened up and went to immediately walk around a bit and heated the area for about 10 minutes.
Throughout the night I tossed and turned, it felt like he left the needle in my bottom.  In the morning and throughout the day on Saturday I was limping around.

We decided to take our kids hiking that day.  When we returned I couldn't believe how much better my bruised butt felt!  :)  Just in time for the 2nd shot!!

***Decided to get smart!  I was online for at least 2 hrs researching others ideas on how to give the shot or what to do before and after the shot.  Hey, any little help would be greatly appreciated at this time!

Ah Ha!! You've got to be kidding me.. Seriously?!  What?  We gave it on my butt, they're butt shots right?  We were not explained how to give the PIO shots, just told to give them in my bottom.  :(  No wonder I'm in so much pain!

Here is the amazing picture that is saving my life!
I'm so happy  that I found this pic!!  My first shot was on the left side, below the bottom right corner one.  Almost right smack in the middle.

2nd PIO shot = So now I am really ready!  Tonight we decided to lay the PIO on the heating pad while I was icing my bottom, we prepped the needle and Nick disinfected.  I decided to try laying on my tummy on the edge of the bed again, this time putting all my weight on the opposite side we were injecting, didn't tense up, just tried to relax.  Barely even felt the pressure of the needle!  It was over just like that!  Wow, what a difference!  I did heat for about 10 minutes afterwards, which extremely helps.  I did wake up on Sunday sore, but not remotely close to how I felt Saturday morning.. I could walk!!

3rd PIO shot =  I got this!  Did exactly what we did on Saturday evening, heated the PIO a little, iced the area, didn't tense up and put all my weight on the opposite side.  This time it was unbelievable; I had to ask Nick if the needle was even in!  And just like that, it was over.  But tonight there was absolutely no achy-ness, even when I woke up this morning, I had to push on the area to make sure it was really given to me! Hallelujah!  Can only pray it remains this perfect!!  This time I sat on the heating pad for 20 minutes.

My only side effects as of now are breast tenderness and a little bloating.  Nothing too bad!  :)