Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I couldn't do this without him!

So, I thought that I may write a post on my husband, Nick, or any other Surrogates husband in that case.  I just want him and everyone who reads my blog to know that I appreciate him so much!  I also want everyone out there to understand the roles that husbands have in the surrogacy journey.  It's not only going to change the life of me (the surrogate) but for everyone around us!  Our kids, our families, friends, church members, etc. At first I believed that as long as Nick & I felt comfortable about this decision, that was honestly all that mattered but unfortunately that is not the case. This will affect so many individuals around you. So many questions will need to be answered. Your kids friends and nieces/nephews will be curious your neighbors kids will wonder and have questions for their parents. And believe me, with kids as young but mature as ours they will wonder..."hmmm, I thought moms & dads got married and then Heavenly Father puts a baby in the mommies tummy? Why would Heavenly Father put "their" baby in your tummy?" Agh, the nosey (but smart) little buggers!! It's a pretty difficult choice to make and it takes a lot of pretty amazing people to support and understand the whole surrogacy journey. 

Even your husband... I can only imagine what was going through Nick's mind when I said, "I want to be a surrogate mother for the ____'s!" Say WHAT?! :) J/K, actually he acted as if he already knew.. He knows me way too well! But seriously, I'm sure the thought of me (his wife) carrying another mans child weirded him out, but because he knows the reasoning behind it all and he knows the family, he is very supportive! It just doesn't stop at agreeing with his wife getting pregnant though. First, there's the support of going to the doctors appointments to make sure that his wife (the surrogate) can even carry another baby. Then he finds out that HE needs to be psychologically tested, as well as yourself. And then there's the legal agreements  So, many contracts need to be signed and approved, things you wouldn't even think about. Like life insurance on his wife?? Just the thought of something going wrong during the pregnancy or delivery in general puts a scare into anyone. And then there's the meds.. Oh boy, all those meds! The multitude of so many shots that are loaded with so many hormones that won't make his sweet wife any sweeter, but will most likely turn his sweet wife into a moody and crabby person that he now has to live with! :) Oh, and that he can't have "any" loving for how long! LOL


And that's not it.. He also has to miss work and take care of your children while you're on bed rest after the embryo transfer. Be there during the stressful two week wait to see if their beautiful baby/babies stuck. Nick has been so very supportive to go to every one of my appointments, be there to hold my hair as I throw up from morning sickness, cook dinner on those days when I am so exhausted I can't climb out of bed. He will then have to listen to me complain about all this extra weight, run out at all hours of the night so I could satisfy my craving, rub my feet when they are sore, rub my back when this little bun is laying on my sciatic nerve. And most of all to be there holding my hand when I deliver B & C's sweet Baby. When I'm just moody, scared and emotional about every little thing, he is the one person who is there!


All because "SHE/I/ALVINA" has it in her heart to be a surrogate! He is truly an amazing man, an amazing support group and he's my Hero!

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing something that so needed to be recognized! He is an amazing person! There is so much more involved in all this process than what the eye can see! We are very honored to call you guys our friends!

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    1. C! I just noticed your comment! Thank you so much. He truly is amazing and very patient! We are so grateful to have you guys in our lives and to call you our friends! :)

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  2. I love this post, it is great to recognize husbands of surrogates. I know I couldn't have done it without my husband. I fell in love with him all over again through our first surrogacy.

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    1. Busy Mom! I am totally with you! It has made me realize that I could possibly love him more! He is my Rock and my Best Friend! I could not imagine doing this without him!

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