Monday, December 16, 2013

~My Letter to Baby S~

                                                      December 16th, 2013

I do not know how to start this letter.. Before even starting this letter I am sitting here overwhelmed with tears of joy. It has been longer then a year that I first found out that you were just a little bit of hope in your Mommy & Daddy's hearts. That they were praying for you to join their beautiful little family. Not everyone has such an amazing story of how they came into this world, thought of, planned, wished for, prayed for, and tears were shed for. You were this little glimpse of hope in their eyes. Your Mommy & Daddy knew that with a little prayer and faith they would soon be able to hold you in their arms.

I cannot even begin to express the emotions that ran through my body and my heart the moment I heard that your Mommy & Daddy were looking for someone to help them bring you into this world. I prayed, I cried, I fasted, I prayed some more and I knew that there was a reason that your Daddy called his friend Nick, my husband that day. There's a reason I could not get your Mommy and all her trials out of my mind that day. The reason I felt to go to the Temple to listen clearly to my heart and to receive guidance from Our Heavenly Father above. It was you, you were guiding me, he was guiding me, my heart was guiding me. I have never, been more sure in my life as I was at that exact moment in time. And with a small text to your Mommy, "I hear you have an amazing service project for me??? :)" The "Miracle" began.

I still remember the day that we went for the transfer. I had this amazing and overwhelming feeling that your Mommy & Daddy were soon going to get their wish. Their Miracle that they've been hoping and praying for, for so long. Everything went smoothly and I have never been more careful in my life to take some down time to let you get all snugly in there. A couple of weeks later we found out that it had worked! You were making a home in my tummy to get strong and to come to this earth to be with your family.

I remember the medicine, the sickness, the weakness, the exhaustion. I remember the very first time I felt you move.. I had to immediately text your Mommy and share it with her! Although, this saddened me.. I knew that she would love to hear that you were getting stronger and healthier. :) I wished everyday that it was her that was experiencing all these amazing things with you. But I knew that she would soon be able to look into your eyes, hold you, feel you and smell that beautiful scent of yours and she will know the Journey you took to be here with her. With them..

I remember the look on your Mommy & Daddy's face when the ultrasound tech said, "It's a Boy!" The shock, the disbelief. It was so cute. They almost looked a little scared, but were up for the challenge of boy names, boy clothes and boy colors! Oh.. and that sweet big sister of yours. You are going to look up to her in so many ways. She will pick on you, make you cry, tease you, but love you, teach you, guide you and you two will grow up to be the best of friends.

I have kept a weekly tab on your growth week by week. My belly of course, it amazes me how much bigger, stronger and hungrier you have gotten these last 8 weeks. I'm sure you can hear all the commotion that is going on outside your little incubator. Well, those are all my kids.. All 6 of them! They talk to you, sing to you, rub you, feel your little kicks and most of all, they pray for you. My whole family, my friends and my church members have fallen in love with this little miracle baby that will be soon making his debut. They want you to know that you have touched each and every one of them. You have inspired them, you have given them hope, faith and belief. The timing could not be more meaningful this time of year with the birth of our Savior. There is something so special bringing you into this world right around the time Mary brought him into this world and gave him a body. You are a blessing, a miracle!

I wish for you to always stay true to Our Heavenly Father, to your faith. Your faith will guide you and lead you. It will give you opportunities you wouldn't believe. I pray you will have a strong testimony and that one day you will grow up and share that testimony with so many people around you. Know that your parents love you dearly, they wished for you, prayed for you. You may not always think they are right or you may think that they are hard on you one day, but they love you so much and they only want what's best for you. They are both such amazing and loving people, cherish them. As they will cherish and adore you.

As I sit here at the close of this letter I cannot help but be full of joy, love, hope, inspiration and even heartache. I have loved you from the first day I knew you existed. I have treated you as if you were one of my own. I have wanted the best care for you from day one. And I continue to want the best for you. The time has come for me to watch this "Miracle" take place. That moment I hand you over to your Mommy & Daddy who have waited so patiently for you! They are so excited to see you and meet you! I pray I will be able to watch you grow and know how much I loved you and will always love you. You have this special little place in my heart and always will. Thank you for choosing me, thank you for making my testimony even stronger than I could imagine, thank you for allowing my kids to see the good in people, the miracle that our bodies can do and most of all.. Thank you for always keeping my heart full and for making me cherish life, my kids, my marriage and my faith.

Love Always,

1 comment:

  1. I am currently about 8 weeks away from delivering my "surro-baby" and I absolutely love this letter! It sums up exactly how I feel and expresses my thoughts so perfectly! Thanks for sharing!