So many women have in their minds how "they" felt when they were carrying "their" baby. And how they would never be able to hand that over and the bond that they feel with each of their pregnancies. They say that surrogates just don't have a heart since they can easily just hand a baby over??
Well, I'm here to tell all you women who may not think you could be a surrogate for one of these amazing families that "maybe" you really could?
If you re-read the very first sentence in paragraph 2, you'll notice that I've stated "your" baby. When becoming a surrogate, your mind set is totally different going into it. From the very start you know that this is "their" baby, not yours. You know that they are the ones who will be enjoying every minute of this little bundle of joy. They will be the ones who will be planning the future of their unborn child. When we carry our own children we tend to search for names, look for those cute little newborn clothes and design a nursery.
I can honestly say that I haven't gone into the baby section at any store during this pregnancy. That may sound harsh or like I don't have a heart but honestly it's how "us" surrogates stay strong during our journeys. Don't get me wrong.. Everyday that goes by I am reminded that I am pregnant, that everything I put into my body is how I am nourishing this miracle baby, the lack of sleep I miss out affects my sleeping pattern for days, therefore affects "his" sleeping.. I am reminded every time I clean or grocery shop that I cannot overly strain myself and that I have got to take it easy. When I had an extreme toothache that I couldn't take anything but Tylenol to get me through the pain, for the sake of his safety. I really hope pointing all these things I do on a daily basis reminds those that I do have a Heart. That I do love this baby, even if it is differently then my own children. I love this baby so much that I was willing to give him a chance at life. Willing to give his "amazing" parents a chance to love him and watch him grow and enjoy his life.
With those words said.. I still believe that becoming a surrogate and helping make miracles is a blessing for not only the IP's but also for the surrogate. It's an amazing feeling of emotions that I have never experienced before. And he is not even born yet! I'm excited to feel another kind of emotion the day he joins his beautiful family.
As for how I've been feeling? Great! This week has been a good week, not too many headaches or pelvic pain! :)
Weight Gain: 12 lbs
Cravings: Strawberries, Blueberries, Banana's, Cucumbers, Green Olives? (Like I have to pour them in a container or I will eat the whole jar!?), Tomatoes, Salads, Sandwiches, Baked Potatoes, Smoothies, Strawberry Shakes, and I'm embarrassed to say Mint Oreo Cookies w/ a Large glass of milk! Guess my appetite came back full force from last week! :|
Symptoms: Heartburn and Braxton Hicks!
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| 23 Weeks! Sorry bad pic, I was in a hurry! :) |
Their baby's the size of a grapefruit!
At about 10.5 to 11.8 inches and about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces, baby's not just getting bigger, he's getting even cuter.
Their baby at 23 weeks!
- His face is fully formed now -- he just needs a little extra fat to fill it out.
- He's listening to our voices and my heartbeat -- and even to loud sounds like cars honking and dogs barking.
Oh beautiful Alvina! I'm overwhelmed with emotions as I read your post. Coincidentally, today I decided to write about some of my feelings (are we connected or what?). I think a lot about how other women perceive this situation. But, honestly the more I think about it, the more I realize how being in it is what opens your understanding in so many different levels. Surrogacy truly is one of the most unselfish acts a woman can be part of. Unselfishness equals love. The love of experiencing bringing lives into this world! For that reason it is very hard for me to believe that some people may believe that surrogate moms are insensitive when genuine love is truly "unselfish". Just to give an example, coming from the very religious person that I am (and you) are, Mary, the mother of our Savior Jesus Christ brought him into this world knowing that Heavenly Father had a very specific plan for Him, right? I hope this helps some women who wonder if surrogates are "insensitive" to accomplish such an unselfish loving act. And, about the bond developed between mother and child during pregnancy, I can only say it is one of the most wonderful blessings that I woman can experience, but for sure not the rule. There are obviously a lot of women out there that have not had that opportunity, but can love (or vice-versa) their adopted children or else just as intensely. Thanks for sharing your feelings in such an inspired way! I hope your words can help others understand a little better the extend and meaning of love and life! Love ya!!! "C"
ReplyDeleteAww, I do believe we are connected, in so many ways! :) Thank you so much for your comment! I believe your words were exactly correct. and True in so many ways! I cannot wait to see you guys!
DeleteHello Alvina,
ReplyDeleteI have actually enjoyed reading this article. Being a mother of child (it doesn't matter for who the child is being given birth to) gives an awesome and unexplainable happiness. I thank you for taking time from your busy life and writing blog posts.
Best wishes
Kunik Goel
Surrogacy In India
Thanks so much for your beautiful comments, always! :) It is an amazing unexplainable happiness! There are so many other feelings of emotions that are involved that we've never even known we've had! :)
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